What started the journey
Posted by Kelly Martin on Sunday, December 19, 2010
I always dreamed of being a mom. As a child, I used to love to draw a house with smoke that whirled out of the chimney and a mom, dad, her child and pets. The mom in the picture was the me of the future, my plan for my life.
Not everything works out like crayola dreams though, as you know. We will not find you as the result of a perfect life and no losses experienced.
I had visions of rocking my sweet baby to sleep, teaching her new things, reading nursery rhymes together, watching her and her friends chase fireflies, teaching her to swim, watching her amuse herself with the silliest of things and hoping that sometime, somehow, I will have made a difference in her life.
We never pictured our life childless. We began talking about our future child long before it was time to think about that. Even dating, we talked about adoption, but it seemed like adoption was a formidable path and we chose to pursue a biological child instead because, ironically, we thought it'd be easier. After many years of it not happening, we started seeking fertility treatments. During that journey, there was such a lack of control and it was an uncomfortable place to be.
After a few unsuccessful treatments, we revisited our plans and went back to our original desire--to adopt, not as a second choice, but going back to our original choice. After talking to 3 agencies and landing with Depaul, looking back, I wish we'd skipped the fertility treatments and went straight to Depaul.
The treatments were the "easy" route and so much more private, but through it all, it keep nagging us in our thoughts and we couldn't escape what was meant to be. The more we thought about it, the more we recognized that the path was being cleared and we could certainly do this.
This was the right decision. Now the hardest part--waiting! We're ready to find you.
Not everything works out like crayola dreams though, as you know. We will not find you as the result of a perfect life and no losses experienced.
I had visions of rocking my sweet baby to sleep, teaching her new things, reading nursery rhymes together, watching her and her friends chase fireflies, teaching her to swim, watching her amuse herself with the silliest of things and hoping that sometime, somehow, I will have made a difference in her life.
We never pictured our life childless. We began talking about our future child long before it was time to think about that. Even dating, we talked about adoption, but it seemed like adoption was a formidable path and we chose to pursue a biological child instead because, ironically, we thought it'd be easier. After many years of it not happening, we started seeking fertility treatments. During that journey, there was such a lack of control and it was an uncomfortable place to be.
After a few unsuccessful treatments, we revisited our plans and went back to our original desire--to adopt, not as a second choice, but going back to our original choice. After talking to 3 agencies and landing with Depaul, looking back, I wish we'd skipped the fertility treatments and went straight to Depaul.
The treatments were the "easy" route and so much more private, but through it all, it keep nagging us in our thoughts and we couldn't escape what was meant to be. The more we thought about it, the more we recognized that the path was being cleared and we could certainly do this.
This was the right decision. Now the hardest part--waiting! We're ready to find you.
